Monday, February 28, 2011

Questions that flight attendants hate!

These are a few questions I hate as a flight attendant.  The answers are of my own thoughts.  Thanks for everyone on facebook who contributed to this blog.

Can I sit in first class?

Where do I start with that? First of all that's rude! If a upgrade is rightfully yours I or the gate agent will come and get you from your seat in coach. When I did work on a aircraft that has first class I used to get really annoyed when non revs would ask me for a upgrade. At this code share I worked on if you wanted first class you listed for it and then you had to pay for it. So let me get this straight when you walk on you want to sit in first class and not pay for it but when I travel I have to pay for first class? Wrong! So just don't ask. Besides us flight attendants really don't have the authority to upgrade so just don't ask the answer will be no!

Is this your normal route?

All though it is a good conversation started I don't like that question. One reason I love my job is because every day is different. If I did the same route every day 5 days a week I would HATE my job! So that's the only reason I don't like that question

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend in every city?

What do I look like a slut to you? No!  I can't answer that for every flight attendant but me personally no.

What hotel are you staying at for your layover here in ___ city?

First of all that's creepy! For the security of my crew and myself I am not going to answer that. I'll more then likely lie to you. If you insists on wanting to buy me a drink because I am such a cool and great flight attendant just give me cash!

Are you going to hold my connecting flight?

I honestly cannot answer that question because that is up to the ground operations and the airlines. A lot of factors go into delaying a flight. In most cases on my airline the agents are usually good about backing the connections, meaning if the original flight is missed another flight will be available. The sassy answer is "yes" all connections will be made so I am left alone to do my job which is safety!

What's the score of the game?

Umm we are cruising at 35000 feet, I have no idea! Purchase the wifi and find out (if the aircraft is equipped). Now I've flown with some pilots who will keep up with a big game like the super bowl or world series. I've had some make announcements in flight and the passengers get a kick out of it. But in all seriousness please don't ask that question.

Why didn't you tell us before we got on the plane that we were going to be stopped by ATC?

Air Traffic Control is God. They do what they want when they want and how they want. Usually a ground delay will most likely happen while taxiing out to the runway usually for weather and/or flow. Seriously nothing can be done and because of so much fuss this is where the ground delay program was born.

Can you get me there faster?

Sure, I will need you to go behind the plane and push.  We are doing the best we can people but if weather or air traffic is a factor in travel then you should have planned ahead.  On a snowy and foggy day in PHL we were on our finial approach into the airport.  It was obvious that we had been placed in a holding pattern.  About 20 minutes later we were still circling.  A call light goes off.   I get up to see what was going on.  When I got back to the passenger he looked at me with a straight face and starts yelling how the pilots need to tell everyone why we have not landed yet.  I could understand his frustration however the reality of it was THE PILOTS WERE FLYING THE PLANE.  I looked at him and said "this may come as a shock to you but the pilots are flying the airplane in bad weather, they are a little busy at the moment trying to land us safely."  He demanded a update from the flight deck.  At that point we were in sterile cockpit  (under 10000 feet) and I sure as heck wasn't going to call unless we had a emergency.  He didn't seem to quite understand that the pilots were flying the plane. 

Can I go to the bathroom?

I don't know, can you?  If the seat belt sign is on that's all I a going to tell you. I cannot stop you from using the bathroom, then again I cant give you permission to get up when the seat belt sign is on.  Don't ask just go to the bathroom!  We can remind you over and over the seat belt sign is on.  Inform not force. 

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